Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Secret Valentine Love

Valentine's Day comes and goes the same way every year for me....unnoticed, until the candy goes on sale. This year offered little variation to the love holiday.

In the hallows of Valentine's Days past, I would make resolutions and solemn vows to have a valentine love by the following holiday. But sadly, the results have remained the same. Nevertheless, another year will bring about the promise of a different outcome.

During the 13 days leading up to the holiday, I listen to the brevy of men who feel compelled to say, "I do stuff all year long, why do I need this holiday to justify what I've been doing all along?" Accompanied with their admissions, are the all-to-familiar responses of their female counterparts chanting their mantras, "Valentine's Day is an overrated holiday!" Or my favorite, "we don't really celebrate it".

To these couples, I say, "GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE WITH THAT CRAP!!"

You know what? Go stand in the corner and be boring as hell and let me show you how to enjoy Valentine's Day. YES DAMMIT!! I like Valentine's Day....I finally said it. After all those years of Anti-Valentine's episodes, I can no longer hold it in anymore.

YES! I want the cheesy Russell-Stover chocolate turtles and the cliche' roses. Red ones.

YES! I want the crappy little cartoon card with the sappy line and I want to check one of the yes, no or maybe boxes.

YES! I want the unoriginal date night including a dinner and a movie, followed by an even more trite excuse to have Valentine's Day sex.

YES!! I freakin' want it all. More importantly, I want my right to be unenthused by the prospect of the lover's holiday. Let me decide for myself the uneventfulness of the day, without the dream deferred rhetoric of stale couples. Its like they forget that at one time they, too, enjoyed these displays of affection.

Sometimes, partnered people use those uninterested lines projecting their own unhappiness about the spunk, or rather lack thereof, in their relationships. As if these words will somehow save the single person from the uninteresting nature your relationship has taken.

I know that it ain't hot in the streets to love Valentine's Day if you're single, but why the hell not? To admit to liking the day, is like admitting to being on the DL. The scoffs are enough to send any covert romantic, like myself, back into hibernation.

Furthermore, with my Valentine's birthright, I want the hope of having a partner who will make strides and leaps at creativity in planning Valentine's gifts for me.

Sometimes, I let my imagination run wild (which normally includes a few glasses of wine from the box). I dream about waking up to an early morning phone call of my beloved telling me how he will come over and share his box of cereal if I would share some milk. Together, we lay curled up watching Saturday morning cartoons, wasting the day away.

Even better, he has a romantic dinner of Popeye's chicken and biscuits with sticky honey packets waiting and we sit through an evening of Queen Latifah movies. As a treat, I get my feet massaged. Shea butter all up and through them toes.

This might seem crazy to you, but that's what I like. That's what makes me happy.

And happily is how I plan to spend my Valentine's Days from here on out. (And I dare anyone to tell me that I can't have it!)

'Til Next Time!
~ T-Gyrl


  1. You talkin bout me Willis?? LOL. I can't deny I've been one of those folks who scoffs Valentine's Day. It took me a min to accept that I love the idea of the day...just didn't love who I was spending it with or they didn't love me. For bitter couple syndrome (that's what I call it) usually it's easier to buck at the idea of loving love than to admit something in your camp is lacking if you got a mate and yet avoid being inspired by days set aside to publicly honor the blessing of that bond.

  2. I will wait to talk about the Code Blue PDA couples who make you want to never have a relationship if your only role model for it is them. LOL....