Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Gaining Perspective/Dance like no one is watching - 2 for 1 special

I dunno if I mentioned to you all that I have decided to take a "life sabbatical". Well, not quite a sabbatical from life, but what was my life.

The past year and a half have been a sloppy ass mess and it comes a point in every person with a sloppy ass, messy life to put a freeze on the situation.

I've decided to re-evaluate everything that I am doing and currently experiencing. From people, work, hobbies, even health and fitness...everything will need to be re-certified and accredited in order to be in my life.

And, of course, dating and relationships will get the over due makeover that it so deserves in my life. Its interesting, you can find perspective in some unlikely places when you are receptive to it. The iconic diva Cher (love her, love her work) offered some sage advice that I am using temporarily until I get some shit in order.

"Men aren't necessities. They're luxuries."

Now, before any of the five male readers we have get up in arms, let me explain. I would never devalue the significance of men nor am I on some "no good men" type shit right now. But, indeed, being in a relationship with a worthy man is an absolute luxury that I would like nothing more than to luxuriate in. Nevertheless, I believe that our capitalistic society have taught us to get all the trimmings without having enough capital to pay for it. So I'm taking time out to build up my equity right now.

And let's face it, I would hate to find this beloved partner but due to distress and other bullshit I am soooo unavailable to him for a relationship to even work. Sometimes you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. (Love me some Kenny Rogers!)

So there, its out into the universe, I'll keep you posted on how its going and feel free to share your own sabbatical experiences and the results of it. Hell, if you're considering going on one yourself, lemme know too.


When you're at your breaking point for change, the universe will bring a catalyst your way to set the chain of events in motion.

My catalyst came in the form of a friend suggesting we attend another friend's dance class. I can't tell you how unappealing and uninterested in exercise I was. Not that I'm not active, but sometimes when you're in a dark place in your life anything that would shake that up seems unappealing. You start to embrace the very thing that you want to get away from.

And when I begrudgingly got to the gym, it couldn't have been any worse. The walkway to the dance class was like a catwalk, surrounded by a pit full of muscle-clad, sweaty men working out on either side. Beefcakes to the left and right and I had to go through the center of all of that. Lucky enough, my sense of obligation forced me to stay for the class, but I avoid all eye contact and walked swiftly.

I entered the room already filled with 20 people waiting to start the class. Oh God! I hate crowds of people when I'm working out. Not to mention, most of the people in the class seemed to all be in college. So here I am in this class with my sports bra pinching, knees aching, with the entire cast from Glee! in front of me going over dance moves. What made matters worst was the room became a human fish bowl as all the muscle boys, glistening with sweat, walked over and watched us, finger pointing and all.

The saving grace in this undesirable situation was the fact that my friend was a really good teacher! Her class was so fun and engaging, I could feel some of the doom and gloom that I had been saturating myself with going away. I'm not sure if it was the class or the universe already prepping me for change, but whatever it was, I hadn't felt that way in a long while.

More than a month in and I now dance up front with the Glee! kids, well sorta semi-front. I felt personally honored when one of them took time out to show me the count on one of the moves. Their praise and connection really made me feel good about myself. As for the fishbowl effect, I can't say that I am used to it yet, but I have decided that it won't stop me from sweating and having a good time.

Even when things seem low, there is always something to guide you in the right direction even when you don't want it.

So now when I enter the gym, I let me lip gloss pop and smile my way to the classroom. Cuz all eyes on me...

'Til Next Time,
~ T-Gyrl

1 comment:

  1. i like this. it's a worthwhile reminder. there must be balance and God ('the universe') sees to that.