top headline: IT'S SUNNY OUTSIDE, BYTCHES!!!
yes, in an
it's easy to be lulled into a sense of warmth.
ahhh, u already see where this one is going, huh?
i'm still not sure if I Met Somebody yet. today, tonight, rightnow, right fckng now, i feel like i haven't.
what is it about dating that lulls you? when we first met it was txts and calls and emails all the time. ALL... THE... TIME. now? he barely has time. i was lulled into that warm glow of attention overload. it is the ultimate catnip for us women. we will do anything, damn near anything i say, for attention. it is to us, what sex is to men.
and i basked in it. i bathed in it. i bottled that shit up and took it to work with me. i radiated Eau d'Attention. and then it stopped. or at least, drastically slowed down.
now, thankfully, i'm over the age of
but this isn't a one-time thing. this is too common an occurence. a pastor once said, and i find to be true, if everywhere you go stinks... IT'S PROBABLY YOU. (heyyyy, that rhymed!) so now i'm sniffing my emotional upper lip and wondering, damn, do i drive these guys away? do i create this madness? it seems that no matter what kind of man i attract - go-getter, lazy, tall, short, handsome, fugly, rich, poor, spiritual, jaded, whatever - i come to *this* point in the journey. this point where he allofasudden changes and i don't understand why.
i think, more than anything, that's what i want to understand. why. that's what i want to ask him. if he wants to move on, fine... it's gonna be 50 degrees outside this weekend and he can't change that. but i need to know why. if it's something i'm doing, then after all these years, can somebody please let ME in on it?!? that's all i'm saying.
i won't lie, though. i was hopeful.