Monday, May 3, 2010

The "A-Ha" Moment

Hey Folks,

So us lovely ladies of DNT have been on a little hiatus. Life caught up to us. Shit happens. But we're coming back with more tales of love and relationships for you. Hopefully, you're anticipating more from us.

Tippin' my glass to you,


....Here's a little teaser post for you all.


Since I've been on this writing va-kay, lots have happened in the world. One of the more frivolous events was the release of the new Ciara video called "Ride".

I'm sorry T-Gyrl, but is that something that we should be aware of? Is it really relevant?

Apparently so....according to all the Facebook statuses of a few of the guys on my friends list. I have never seen soooo many guys with advice to women on how to keep their man until this video came out.

I thought to myself: Self, what could Ciara possibly be doing to have so many men captivated and willing to believe that this very action will, in fact, make a man faithful, get him to commit and love you more than anything that you did prior to this video?

And then I saw the video....

I'm not gonna lie, my first reaction was sadness. My mind started racing. All the years that I have worked on accepting where I'm at and who I am and now here comes Ciara gyrating all that to hell. I started feeling bad about myself because hell, I'm working out trying to get my body right, but my shit wasn't going to look like that in a bathing suit (and a fur coat).

That sexy glam look wasn't me at all and to be told that this is how you keep a man satisfied hurt me to my core. Why can't I be encouraged to have a Window Seat like Erykah Badu. Being rid of societal and social restraints to be free and express myself as I am...naked. No touch ups, just perfect imperfections is all.

I was all ready to hate on Ciara when my nephew-son gave me a little man-spective on my "internalization" of Ciara's video. His words of wisdom resonated loudly down to my core.

He said, "LOL, she teaching you how to ride ittt!"


So, this wasn't a personal attack on who I am and the type of woman I have grown to be? Really?....OKAYYY!!!

I asked a few of my man-friends about the same video and their feelings behind it. After coming out of the gyration hypnosis, most of them told me that it was definitely about....ahem....the performance. Most of the guys, though impressed by Ciara's skill set, didn't feel it was a requirement that every woman possessed this.

I asked all of them...would you approach a woman in the club who was "dancing" like that? The answers varied from "No because I couldn't move with her" to "I gotta say SOMETHING".

One of them summed the video up in these thoughts: "...a woman dancing like that would be intriguing but if she doesn't have anything going on between her ears I'm not interested."

So I'm gonna keep doing me (and maybe delete some friends on Facebook, LOL!!)

'Til Next Time,


  1. i watched the video after catching all the hype.
    i saw NOTHING to warrant it all.
    actually what i thought was,
    "yawn, is that all she got?"
    that chick just keeps confirming that she can "move ya body like a snake, ma" but sing she cannot. & since she's in the music game & not the background dancer game i gotta say the sista gets a major FAIL fro me.

    over it.

  2. Co-sign on Ndygo. Just went to view it. It looked like the audition for Step Up to the Hot Dog Stand (since they already did to the establishments must be part trois).
    I love a dancer..much respect for it. So can't say I'm hating. Digitally engineered movement - no. Janet Jackson (whom between her and Michael not sure which Ciara is imitating more) was a dancer. That's just engineered movement. She's doing half/ editing is doing the other. Trying to think which school I was a film major in. I think Syracuse was my fim studies...anywho..she's moving on a 2 slide 8 mil. (It's painfully obvious) That's not talent...that's tricks (her and the dancing)